Development at 58 Months
Click for more details:
Activity 1
Age Appropriate Social Development
Accepts A Change In Routine When Prepared In Advance
I can better accept a change in plans when you prepare me in advance. Telling me why the change has to happen, what the changes will be, when it will happen, who will be there, what will I do and where will I be going all helps me to accept these changes. Accepting a change means to listen, clarify some questions, say or express that “it is ok” and then move onto a next activity. I can do this between 55 and 60 months (4 year 7 months and 5 years).
|
Steps
-
Use natural situations where a change has to take place. E.g. Instead of taking a walk after dinner, stay at home.
-
Observe whether your child is able to accept a change when you ask him.
Feedback
At this age, your child is learning to know what to expect when you explain the changes. As a result, he can easily accept the change just by asking you a few questions. Accepting changes from an adult is easier than it is from peers. This is because adults explain it much better than children!
Take a look at our suggestion for other ideas to develop your child's emotional adaptability towards changes.
|
-
Continue to create situations where your child learns to adapt to changes in a routine or a situation. Start with small changes, before moving to large changes. It is also more difficult to accept a change if it is a favorite activity versus a non-favored activity.
-
A young child may be rather impulsive. When you tell him of a change, he will asks you lots of questions. He may be unsure of what to do and is unable to imagine the alternative solution to his predicament. To help him out, try to let him know the change as early as possible to allow him to have some time to THINK about and accept the change.
-
Engineer pleasant changes or plan for pleasant alternatives whenever possible. This is to help your child associate changes with positive instead of negative events.
-
Praise your child's efforts for being creative and accepting of change.
|
|
Feedback 2
 If you observe that your child consistently has difficulties accepting changes even when prepared in advance, do try to analyze the reason for this:
|
-
Does your child not understand the change and what he could do?
-
State the reason matter-of-factly.
-
Provide an alternative ("we will go after the rain stops", or "we can go shopping tomorrow after mummy comes back from work".)
-
Ignore him until he calms down.
-
Do not explain anything to him when he is distressed.
-
Wait till he calms down, before you talk to him.
-
Is your child riding on your sympathetic attention?
Then try to remain calm when your child cries/screams/throws tantrums. IGNORE your child's emotional outbursts. Ignoring means no eye contact, no words spoken, no touch. Just keep a straight calm face. This may be difficult for you because your child will react by intensifying an outburst. Try to hold yourself back. Your child is merely displaying a consistent response when someone tries to correct his negative behavior. i.e. a negative behavior will always get worse before it gets better when you change your response and reactions to them. When you are consistently implementing this firm strategy with him for 2 weeks, you will see that your child will unlearn a negative behavior.
-
When your child is calm:
- Praise him for being quiet.
- Acknowledge the feelings created by the disappointment ("I understand you feel sad/angry/disappointed").
- Tell him specifically that you disapprove of his way of handling his feelings ("I really don't like it when you shout and scream to show me you are unhappy. It makes mummy feel so sad that I don't want to talk to you".)
- Talk to him on how he can handle disappointments in a positive way. Drawing your explanation helps.
-
Ask him what is the problem that makes him feel sad ("the problem")
-
How does this make him feel ("his reactions")?
-
What does he do? ("present solutions")
-
Does it help? ("evaluation of present solutions")
-
What can he do? (e.g. brainstorm of concrete solutions like to postpone the trip, wait and do something fun first, etc)
-
Come up with a standard verbal script for your child to say. E.g. "It's ok, I can go again another day. I will try to do something else first".
-
Engineer pleasant changes or plan for pleasant alternatives whenever possible. This is to help your child associate changes with positive instead of negative events.
|
|
Note : Resistance to some changes is a normal part of growing up. But children normally grow out of it. Furthermore, the insistence on sameness would also not predominate the most part of their lives. If you observe that your child insists on sameness for a large number of situations and that he seems rigid in his ways, we do recommend that you seek the attention of your pediatrician and a child psychologist.
Activity 2
Age Appropriate Speech, Language And Communication Development
Uses 'Will' To Form Future Tense
From babbling to first true words to single words to sentences to prepositions, tenses and social skills! Phew! I am now able to use intonation like an adult! I am progressing in my grammatical skills too and I can use ‘will’ to form future tense as in, 'He will cycle home'. I usually develop the ability to use 'will' to form future tense when I am between 56 and 62 months old.(4 year 8 months and 5 year 2 month).
|
Steps
-
Present picture cards one at a time to your child.
-
Tell your child what is happening in the picture card (i.e. It is about to rain), then ask him what will happen next (i.e. The boy will become ____?).
-
Observe if your child is able to use 'will' to form future tense.
Feedback
Your child's use of the word 'will' to mark a future event has shown that he has a better grasp of time and is learning how to indicate past, present and now future events! Take note that children normally learn about marking past and present events first. Talk about his plans for the next day and ask what he might do.
Take a look at the suggested activities for more ideas in helping him learn about the future tense.
|
-
Play ‘Simon Says’, change the rules this time. The child is only to follow your instructions when you say it with ‘Simon will say’.
-
Play “Question and Answer”. One person is to ask a question. The other person would then have to answer using ‘will’ in the sentence. Take turns asking questions. You can even make it fun by asking silly questions.
-
When in the park, randomly point to someone or something and ask the child what he thinks is going to happen next and see if he uses ‘will’ to form future tense.
|
|
|