By aprilaragam
Having
twins is a great joy. Doubles the giggles, double the hugs. Okay,
double diapers and spit ups too. But raising twins is really a lot
of fun. And with parenting any siblings there comes a struggle or
two. With twins the biggest thing is emphasizing individuality.
Many parents of twins get completely lost in the moment. They really
try to create "doubles." No denying it, it's cute
to see twins dressed alike, hair done the same, but is it really
best for them? Probably not past the age of one when they can start
expressing their own likes and dislikes. Here are some more tips
for giving your twins a sense of individuality:
1. Give them different names
We all know of or have heard of twins with similar
names: Mandy and Sandy, Eddie and Freddie, Jenn and Ben. Don't
do it. It's more weird than it is cute. Treat naming twins
as you would naming individual siblings. You wouldn't give
children two years apart rhyming names, give your twins that same
respect.
2. Dress them differently
As infants, when they don't know what's
going on, it's probably fine to dress your twins similarly.
It's cute, but it's also important to get into the habit
of dressing them differently. If you have twin girls, one might
adore frilly dresses whereas the other twin might hate dresses.
It's not fair to them to make them wear something they really
don't like.
3. Don’t refer to them as "the
twins"
Grouping them together all the time is sure to annoy
your children. When talking to other people about your children
use their names. Constantly calling them "the twins"
creates a feeling that they are one and not two. It is also important
to have others refer to them by their names instead of asking "how
are the twins?" because very rarely will your children feel
the same or want the same things.
4. Don't expect them to be the same
 They might look alike on the outside, but on the
inside your twins may be as different as night and day. One may
be an athlete, the other academic. Even as small children, one may
love animals while the other is fascinated by trains. They are not
carbon copies of each other. It is okay to do things with them each
separately and have them participate in different activities. Be
careful not to say things like "why can't you be more
like your sister?" Encourage them to be themselves by having
their own interests and dreams.
5. Give them their own rooms
If
this is at all possible in your home, go for it. The common belief
is that twins should always, always be together. But your twins
may clash. They may have different styles and as they get older
may want their privacy. If they must share a room, because of lack
of extra space allow them to decorate their side of the room as
they want. Allowing them to express themselves this way is much
more important than worrying about how the room may look to others.
6. Separate birthday parties
Well, maybe not literally. It might get expensive
to have one party at the bowling alley and one at the water slides
every single year. There are a couple ways to deal with this. When
children are younger you can have one party for both, simply using
a different theme (paper plates, cups, cakes etc) for each twin,
with each child inviting a few friends over. To exclude any confusion,
make out invitations for each child, not both (i.e. Timmy invites
you instead of Timmy and Jon invite you). This way parents won't
feel they have to buy a gift for both twins. As your children get
older they may want to do the same activity for their birthday or
if their tastes are very different they can take turns choosing
the birthday party location.
Article written by aprilaragam.
All opinions expressed are that of the writer.
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