By Edward W. Kemper III
One of the many problems that face parents in our
busy society is spending time with our kids. What can we do that
our kids will enjoy? Kids all love to play.
When your child is a baby, holding and comforting
them is a great way to begin. You can add in liberal doses of talking
to them, playing with them, and just being with them. However, as
they get older, they tend to outgrow some of these aspects. You
can only hold a child for so many years before your back is going
to give.
As
a child becomes a toddler, real play steps in. Play tag with them.
Children love to run around playing tag. Granted, this is when you'll
quickly notice how your child's energy is depressingly high
compared to your own. Try playing cars or "guys" with
them. "Vrooom Vrooom" with the best of them. I know
most boys, at least, love playing "guys." For you fathers
out there with little girls, don't think of Barbie as a doll.
Think of her as G.I. Joe in a bra. It tends to help.
As your child grows, you'll find many things
you can do together. Take them to play miniature golf. Try taking
them to an arcade. All the flashing lights and cool sounds are absolutely
great. You might find the kid in you really coming out in an arcade.
Try a movie. I took my kids to see the new Star Wars on the big
screen and I wasn't disappointed. These are the memories they're
going to cherish for a lifetime.
Try having one night a week that is consistently
for your kids. They'll begin looking forward to it. Take them
out or order pizza. Try never to plan anything else for that night,
even if you can't afford to take them out or order in. You
don't want them to feel betrayed. Instead, sit down and play
a game with them. Vary what you and your kids do from week to week.
The most important aspect is don't treat it as a chore. Kick
back and have fun with your kids. If you grudgingly give them the
time, they'll know it. Spending time with your kids should
be fun. If you do it because you feel you have to, they'll
know it. You don't want to insult their intelligence.
As they get older, the fun shouldn't stop.
You'll find that your children only want some time. They may
not even realize this. However, by not giving them the time they
crave, you could be inviting negative behavior.
Does your child enjoy sports? Sporting events are
a great way to spend some time with your child, even if it is just
going to see the home high school football team play. How long has
it been since you've been on roller skates? I've known
very few children who didn't enjoy roller-skating.
Don't forget the mall. I myself enjoy going
to the mall with my sons. Then again, they don't spend as
much of my money as my daughter. It's great taking her shopping,
but expensive. The mall offers a wide variety of shops to browse
through. It also is varied enough to interest you and your child.
 What about the bookstore? Don't try forcing
your children to read, they'll rebel. Instead set a good example.
Take them with you to the bookstore. Try the subtle approach, if
you have to. Take them to McDonalds or Burger King, but you stop
at the bookstore because "There was something you wanted to
pick up." Let them browse. Often, something will catch their
eye and you'll be able to pick them up a book that they'll
want to read. If done right, this is a great way to keep your child
interested in reading.
Don't
always make the decision on what you do. Vary your approach. Some
weeks surprise them; other weeks discuss it with them. They'll
love it when you turn to them and say, "What do you want to
do this week?" It makes them feel good to take part in the
decision-making process.
You'll notice that giving your child this
friendly approach can make you your child's friend as well
as their parent. To a child, a parent is someone who sets a bunch
of rules. A friend is someone you can talk to as well as listen
to. I'd rather be friend and parent to my children; at least
I know they're willing to talk to me. However, don't
give them the excuse to walk all over you, either. You must be firm
in the fact that you are also their parent.
You also should notice an improvement in their behavior.
It may take some time, but it's time well invested. One day
you'll wake up and realize that your child's behavior
has actually improved. They'll be happier, you'll be
happier, and your home life will be happier.
Don't think I'm trying to paint a picture
of bliss, I'm not. But with a little bit of work, your child's
relationship with you can be very comfortable. It's important
to be comfortable with your children. It's also necessary
for them to be comfortable with you. If they're not comfortable
with you, how can you ever expect them to come to you for advice?
Children have problems. It's very easy to
think their problems are nothing compared to an adult's problems.
However, their problems are just as valid. Playtime used wisely
can be of great help with those problems - for both of you.
Article written by Edward W. Kemper III.
All opinions expressed are that of the writer.
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