By Mary M. Alward
The baby has arrived! Your wife is still in the
hospital. You’re excited and looking forward to bringing Mom
and baby home. The nursery is painted and decorated for your first
arrival. Everything is in place. Life is perfect.
Not
quite. There’s going to be a lot of adjustments to be made
in the next few months. I don’t want to discourage you. Having
a son or daughter is great. Still we have to look at the reality
of the changes children make in your life.
There will be times when everyone in the household
is frazzled, baby included. He can feel tension or stress in his
surroundings. Sometimes Mom will be a little crazy. She may burst
into tears, yell or withdraw without warning and for no apparent
reason. She going to be tired and, at times, completely exhausted.
She has a big responsibility.
Having a baby is hard work. It depletes the body
of energy and hormones rage. New mothers seldom know how to deal
with the overwhelming emotions that they feel after a baby is born.
It’s a real roller coaster ride for them and for the people
around them.
What to expect from Baby
When Baby is born, he will already be alert to sounds
and movement around him. His body will be uncoordinated and his
arms and legs will wave involuntarily. Don’t worry. Before
you can blink your eyes, Baby will become adapted to the world around
him.
By the time Baby is a couple of months old, he will
have changed. The “newborn” look will be gone. He will
begin to interact with those around him. His eyes will follow you
wherever you go.
At six months Baby will be sitting up, itching to
explore the world. He may even start to crawl. He’ll love
to play. He’ll chortle, laugh and giggle. He will be able
to roll over and move around more freely.
When Baby is nine months old, he will have teeth,
know how to wave bye, blow kisses to you and Mom, and may, or may
not, be trying to walk.
Baby’s first birthday is a time of celebration.
Let him play in the cake and take lots of pictures. This is a big
milestone for both him and you, as parents. He may be taking a few
steps by now, or he may be walking full tilt and getting into mischief.
He can probably say, “Mama,” and “Dada,”
along with a few other words. Baby is growing up.
Never compare Baby to other children his age. Each
child develops differently. This is normal and there should be no
need to worry. However, if you’re concerned about something,
be sure to discuss it with your family physician.
 What Can Dad Do?
Let’s back up a ways. Baby has just come home
from the hospital. Both you and Mom are concerned about him. Though
nothing is wrong, you want the very best for Baby. This is normal.
So is lack of sleep. Baby will wake up every few hours to be fed.
Mom and you are going to have to get used to a pattern of interrupted
sleep, and that’s not easy.
To make life easier for everyone concerned, there’s
a few things you, as a Dad, can do.
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Hugs Mom a lot. Encourage her and assure her
she’s doing a terrific job.
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Be patient. There’s a lot of adjusting
to do on everyone’s part.
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Rest whenever your can.
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Watch Baby so Mom can rest.
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Ask family and friends to lend a hand with cleaning,
grocery shopping and meals.
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Give Mom a break. Change Baby, give him a bath,
rock and cuddle him, sing to him, (he doesn’t care what kind
of singing voice you have.) or lie on the couch and let him fall
asleep on your chest. This is a great way to bond with your child.
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Arrange for someone you trust to take care of
Baby, even for an hour or two, so you and Mom can get away. Take
her out to dinner or a movie. Be sure to schedule this between feedings
if Mom is breast feeding.
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Bring Mom flowers, a gift or treat when you come
home from work. It can be something as simple as her favorite chocolate
bar. It lets her know you’re thinking about her and appreciate
all she does.
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Phone ahead and tell Mom not to cook dinner because
you are bringing take-out. That will alleviate the necessity for
her to cook a big dinner. She will appreciate it.
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There
are plenty of other things you can do to help out. Vacuum, dust,
take out the garbage, do the dishes, or let Mom go out with her
best friend for a couple of hours. Be creative. Use your imagination.
Above all, be attentive to both Mom and Baby. Listen
to Mom when she voices her feelings, no matter how frazzled or upset
she is. She is under a lot of pressure. She feels all eyes are watching
to see what kind of mother she is going to be. Support her in all
she does. Defend her if others criticize. Make her feel loved and
talk things over.
Baby’s first year is not going to be easy,
but these pointers will help the transition go much smoother. Be
sure to have lots of fun with both Mom and Baby. That is what life
is all about – the love of family.
Article written by Mary M. Alward.
All opinions expressed are that of the writer.
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