By Rebecca Lanham
Unlike your toaster or home entertainment system,
your kids and family life does not come with an instruction book.
There is nothing to tell you how to put your child together, how
to keep your child running, and how to turn your child off! There
are no preset plans for running your household smoothly. So, although
you may be able to set up that new entertainment system easily and
use it correctly every time, the same cannot be said for your children
or your home.
Some
women and men feel that they should be "perfect parents".
They think that their children should always be happy, well-adjusted
and live a problem-free life. They think their home should always
be maintained and running at peak efficiency. However, that is just
a myth that needs to be explained away to new parents from the start!
There is no "perfect" in this world - whether
you are speaking of a child or a parent or a home.
Here are some things that first time parents should
know:
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You cannot "control" your child -
even when your child is a tiny baby, you cannot control their wants
and needs. When they are hungry or have a diaper that needs changing,
they will cry. When they want held by mom or dad, they will fuss.
There is no changing this fact of life. As they get older, there
can be consequences for inappropriate behavior by your children,
but you cannot force your child to act one way or another! All you
can do as a parent is show good and appropriate behaviors and hope
that your children emulate your example.
Your child will not always behave - don't expect
exemplary behavior from your child all the time! Problem behavior
is a common part of being a child and takes up a good deal of your
time as a parent. Learn to "go with the flow" and realize
that some behaviors will be outgrown with time.
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There is no such thing as a completed "To Do" list - this is where the "super moms" start to lose it. Your house will never be completely clean! There will always be dishes to do, laundry to wash and fold, floors to sweep, beds to make, errands to run, food to cook, and children to watch! For dads, there will always be a lawn to mow, a car to be serviced or fixed, garbage to be taken out, and odds and ends fix-it jobs everywhere. You will only make yourself and your family miserable if you expect “perfection” all the time, every time.
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It is okay and quite normal to feel overwhelmed with your parenting
responsibilities; inadequate at running your home; guilty about
the behavior of your child or how you dealt with that behavior;
worried about your child and your home (and your finances and your
relationship with your spouse and...); and confused about what
your new role as parent should be. All of this is just a part of
becoming a parent that you will need to accept.
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 If anything above becomes too much for you to handle,
seek help right away. You many need something as simple as a friend
to vent to. However, if the fear or anxiety is great, professional
help might be necessary.
Don't fall into the "perfect parent"
trap! There is no such person, no matter what your parents try to
tell you!
Article written by Rebecca Lanham.
All opinions expressed are that of the writer.
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