By Heather Long (HVLong)
There are four types of parenting styles: authoritarian,
permissive, authoritative and uninvolved. Parents influence the
development of attitudes, values, politics and religion of a child.
It is not the single act of parenting, but a combination of a parent's
interactions that defines their parenting style. While it's
true that a child's personality, abilities, interests and
even sexual orientation are genetic based attributes, a person's
style of parenting affects the choices and decisions a child makes
in life.
Authoritarian
parents use strict rules, strict expectations and are very inflexible
to change. They are highly demanding in their directions, but they
are not typically responsive. They are more interested in strict
obedience and provide a well-ordered and structured environment.
Authoritarian doesn't always imply autocratic and intrusive.
Some authoritarian parents are strictly black and white. The rules
are never in question, they state their expectations clearly and
the consequences are equally clear. Some parents are militant in
their authoritarian behavior. They are viewed as unyielding and
venturing on cruel, however, authoritarian does not mean abusive.
Abusive parents are a different category altogether. Children of
authoritarian parents tend to do moderately well in education, but
possess low self-esteem, poorer social skills and in some cases
higher levels of depression.
Permissive parents are quite the opposite of authoritarian parents.
They can be viewed as indulgent because they are highly flexible
and often rely on the children to police themselves. They act more
as advisors than decision makers. Some permissive parents are simply
just buddies to their children and rather than give them direction
or rules, let the children make the decisions with only some input
from the parent. Children from permissive homes are more often likely
to be involved in problem behavior and do less well in structured
situations such as school. In contrast, they possess higher self-esteem,
better social skills and a greater sense of personal identity.
Authoritative parents are more likely to straddle
the fence between authoritarian and permissive. Authoritative parents
do set expectations, but remain flexible. They are more willing
to talk out problems and reason the information with their children.
They remain involved in the decisions, sometimes allowing the child
to take the lead, but under a guiding hand of direction. Their style
represents the more positive aspects of both authoritarian and permissive.
Children of authoritative parents tend to be balanced both in their
behavior and responsiveness to educational structure and social
structures. They are moderate in responsiveness to levels of depression
and problem behavior.
 The final type of style is the uninvolved parent. Uninvolved parents
are exactly that. They are low on responding or initiating contact
with their children and expect little in return. In its most extreme
form, an uninvolved parent is a neglectful one. Uninvolved parents
neither encourage nor demand behavior from their children. They
are often accepting of the status quo. Punishments are low to nonexistent
because it requires effort and involvement. Children of uninvolved
parents are poor social performers, poor academic performers and
likely to exhibit poor behavior in their choices and decisions because
they lack fundamental support and understanding.
While
the characteristics of each type of parenting style are different,
it should be noted that only authoritative does not lend itself
to extremism. No parenting style is endorsed as right or wrong,
although the impact of a parent's style is going to be profound
on the child in their long-term development and growth. Extreme
forms of any style are often negative and will have negative results.
Understanding a person's personal identity and self-view can
help them to understand their own style of parenting. Often in a
combination of two parents, a permissive and an authoritarian can
reach a compromise through discussion with each other. Parents,
in general, should provide a united form of parenting to their children.
Going from one extreme to the other with different parents only
serves to add to a child's confusion and adjustment issues.
Article written by Heather Long (HVLong).
All opinions expressed are that of the writer.
|
